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I was asked by a 20 year younger friend how my internet was back then. I needed a moment but then I told her the story of an IRC channel and how we made the day for a young girl who happened to be on our IRC channel. Because this is what my internet was like back then and I wish sometimes it still was like this. Let me tell the story:

I was 25, the channel members were like 20 to 30 years old. Somehow this young girl found her way to us. She was 14 when she joined the channel. >>

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

>> her mother had died, her dad was still in grief. She had a twin sister.

I don’t know what made us take care of her online. We were there. We listened when she talked about here grief, her pain and how alone she felt. We do our best.

Then came the day where she told us that her dad demands that she and her twin sister will have a birthday party for her 16th birthday. „All the people of my school will come. For her. I don’t have friends at school. You are my friends.“ >>

Kevin Karhan hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

>> In a mood I said „well, we could come.“ Tje rest agreed - we could come.

„But what should I say to my dad?“ - I suggested „I have some people I want to invite. My friends from the internet“. I did not really think that she said this to her father. It was a bad joke I thought. Well, little did I know that she was so desperate that she asked her dad „can my friend from the internet come?“. He said yes. >>

Kevin Karhan hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

>> We all said „we‘ll come!“ and so it happened that 15 adults went to a 16th birthday party.

We coordinated in another channel that she did not know that we bought presents, made cake and planned games. And of course a cake fight.

The day came. Several cars arrived at the house and Metall heads, Goths and Punks arrived at „the venue“ :D >>

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Kevin Karhan hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

>> We had so much fun and made her day. We laughed more than her sister with her „cool friends“. We were the perfect guests. We played games, we laughed. SHE laughed. Later she said the first times for months.

We just were us. Of course we did not drink or take drugs. Of course we did not swear the amount we normally did.

It was a perfect 16th birthday for her. For us it was meeting a friend. I still do not know her „real name“ because her real name is her IRC nick. >>

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Kevin Karhan hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

>> and today, ca. 20 years later, we still talk every now and then. We are still part of her life.

6 years ago she was living in Paris, had a boyfriend in Berlin. She was visiting him for her birthday. He called her when she arrived in Berlin at the airport and told her that this relationship has ended.

The person she called was me. She spent the weekend on my couch and again I tried to create her a great birthday.

She played with Barbara, I ordered food, we watched silly TV shows. >>

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Kevin Karhan hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

>> at the end she had a a few decent days with some fun and could fly home and was not totally desperate.

She could call at 3 in the morning and I would write into an IRC channel that she needs us and we would do everything we could to be there. And she would do the same for us.

And that is the internet I hold dear. The internet I love and miss. The internet that mad the day for a 16 year old girl that thought she had no one in the world. The internet that proved her wrong.

~ fin

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teilten dies erneut

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Now I have something in my eyes.

teilten dies erneut

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

thanks for sharing! This story made my day a little better ❤️
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Thank you so much for sharing this (and the trip down my memory lane about the net of years past). And why the heck does someone always have to cut onions when I read such a thread?
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

nice. I remember when our IRC-people met at the Gamescom and we hacked the to be released PSP-E1000 from Sony.
I also went to a wedding of a friends mum. It was the first time we met in real life. I met him on Worms Armageddon and we had become really close friends. Later I went to his own wedding as well. It was nice in those little special interest communities.
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Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Damn Onion cutting ninjas! They still are everywhere on the internet.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I have something in my eye too.
This was not only the internet back then, but the whole world.
We missed the point of being alive during the past 20 years.
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Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

this was the kind of internet i used to have when i was young too.
Thanks for remembering me that.

I dont know why it has changed so much.
Probably because of Facebook and Youtube and Tiktok and Instagram are now defining how we "should" use internet (to improve their revenues).

Hopefully i think Discord still offers the same kind of place IRC was. So maybe it can still exist somewhere.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

without the IRL part, I had a similar thing been done too little lonely-with-no-friend-for-years ub highschool and kinda was a lifesaver too.

Thanks strangers of the net.

Happened on IRC, forum, and even world of warcraft.

But didn't happened since the social network ; I sometimes wonder if it's about me changing or the social fabric of internet (probably both tbh).

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Same, same.
Amazing that this was able to happen...
Thanks for sharing
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Awww 🥰
I was also on IRC at the age of 14, and this was pretty much the vibe! I'm not in touch with many folks from back then except for the ones who ended up becoming family 💚
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I was going to Australia for postgrad studies then, and I was on irc. I knew nobody in Canberra. My irc friends dug up other friends who lived there, in Sydney, and in Melbourne, and they arranged for someone to meet me at the airport, to help me get settled in my dorm, and to invite me to stay with them on weekends and holidays when the dorm would be empty. I felt safe. I survived homesickness for two years because of all those great Filipino-Australian friends I just met online.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

That story is so amazing.
It makes me feel nostalgic for a time of the internet of which I only got to experience a little bit of the end of.
Thanks for sharing.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Thanks for sharing.. You all earned a ton of Karma points that day and every day since.

Yeah, this is the Internet I remember. Community boards where we policed ourselves and if someone got out of line the community just naturally took care of it by shunning them and ostracizing them till they left or straightened out.

Middle of the night logging into BBS boards to check if anyone had posted a follow up...

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

My family always told me that people on the internet are not real people and somehow I never made a real life connection through it. (May also be caused by living in small villages my whole life.)
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

The onion chopping ghosts haunt me as well! I miss the IRC friends I haven’t read from in years…
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Most of them have been ghost towns under the purposeless watch of chanserv for years.
You’re right, I should visit the ones that still exist more often.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I feel you. I experienced similar. Those times were special.

And to some degree these times lasts until these days, because I were in IRC, chatted in some channels, met some people, came together with a girl from thet channel, went to a party, met others from the channel on the same day - and then there was SHE!
Instantly regretted that I came together with the other girl from earlier that day, but SHE was in another relationship.

Years passed by and to make a long story short: we met again, first on the very same IRC channel, than IRL and we are now married for >16 years.

And there are other couples from that channel that are still together today.
Later this year there will be a channel party at the home of one of those couples.

Again: those were the days! And I'm glad were were part of it! 🙂

Als Antwort auf ij

Part of the magic, I think, was that IRC focussed on text, IMHO. You could have great chats with foreign people, those chats went sometimes deep and foreign people became friends. We all shared the same magic of discovering the Internet and to meet other people just by typing chat messages.

OTOH, I'm still on IRC, in the same channels I were like 20 years ago. Some channels grew big in the high times of IRC (like #debian.de, went through turbulances, etc), some are small, unknown channels with a handful of users, some channels are just plain dead.

Back in the days I remember being a regular on #hallo and #flirt.de...

Oh well...

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

There was so much potential to really unite people, but people who wanted to make money no matter the costs came in and all but destroyed it. The good news is all the old protocols still work: IRC, SSH, FTP, heck even HTTP doesn't need to be the hellscape it has become.

This was a great story, and I appreciate your sharing it here.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

This rings very true, *my* internet was the same, though it was usenet, not irc. Sure, some things improved society-wise since then, e.g. we are far better are adressing the massive middle-aged white male privilege; But even back then we tried to be non-judgemental, plain decent human beings. Many attribute that to the overwhelming proportion of academics online, but I have an inkling it has more to do with camraderie among nerds. The Fediverse feels like a decent facimile.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I remember that Internet. There's a woman out there by the name of Penny Douglas who lived in South Africa who probably never knew just how far a few kind words propelled a tortured 20 something in Boston.

I've always remembered that and somewhere along the way, I hope I've paid my dues forward to someone in the exact same way. Today we are drowning in messages. It's almost entirely noise, but the right message at the right time can still alter the course of a life.

teilten dies erneut

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I remember those days too. My first experience of the support online communities can offer was when I was going through a painful divorce. I discovered Bianca’s Smut Shack, the first web-based chat site, in its early days. Yes, there was a lot of ‘smut’, but also a group of regulars who loved and supported each other. It certainly helped me through a dark time.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bianca.c…

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Bit of a tangent, but you made me think of this post I came across a while back.

(Edit: linking to the original source since this blew up a bit: bsky.app/profile/shortestwitch… )

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teilten dies erneut

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

oh wow. That is a wonderful story.
It does feel like something missed there, though, maybe, just maybe, it could be that again.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

suicide

Sensitiver Inhalt

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Wonderful and inspiring story! That you and your IRC group for being there for her
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

My human sometimes tells stories like that, from 'when the Usenet was still text only'. But I made a mastodon account, searched for other plushies and Blåhajer and met really great friends! We have lots of fun together in the plushieverse. When we are nearby, we meet and cuddle, that is what we plushies do. When a plushie needs support or help, we help, also when a plushie needs support with their human.

And my human keeps saying: 'it is just like when I was young!' :blobhajmlem:

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I miss this internet. I pretty much was the 16 year old girl in your story. A bunch of strangers held me up in my darkest times back then.

I still hope we can go back a bit sometimes in the future.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I got online when I was about 13 and being able to talk to random college kids outside the ignorant backwater where I lived probably saved my life a couple times.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I miss those days too. I still have some online friends I know from 20 years ago. Awesome times.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

would whoever it is stop cutting damn onions already please??
Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag
CaledonMoneypit 🇨🇦
@holger
Over 20 years ago, I met a group of guys online in a group focused on golf. After almost a year of internet chats, we decided to meet for a golf weekend in Virginia. I drove 7 hours thinking I was nuts to meet total strangers. Our group, from different walks of life and areas of North America, became better friends and had several more trips in subsequent years. Although 2 are now deceased, the one remaining friend and I still talk a dozen times a year.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

the Internet really was like that back then. You were just humans getting in honest contact with other humans.

Also, the "special interest group hangout" that irc chat rooms were did work better for developing a friend group than today's social media does.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Your story is heartwarming and yes, that is how I remember the internet was when I started using it back in 1999.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

aww this is so great. Now I have something in my eyes too. Thank you!
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

exactly my Internet and my IRC and there's people I now know for THIRTY years on the Internet.
Als Antwort auf Jan Lehnardt

@janl @sushee @cjk I'm sure y'all would get a kick out of reading "Incredible Doom". incredibledoom.com/about/
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I was not much older when I joined the internet. Like this girl I had no friends other than those I met online (Usenet for me rather than IRC). These friendships meant the world to me. It was the first time I had a social group, and the fact that that social group was mostly older than me didn't matter; they were my people.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

That's my Old Internet, yeah. Thanks for your beautiful tale.
IRC is still there, but all these little communities i had in the day have disappeared. I know only of technical channels… But some of the friends are still here ! I also made a lot of friends via MMORPG guilds.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

This should be the one thing people read this morning. It is much as I imagine the Fediverse is and ought to be. Now where are those onions that seem to have got in my eyes...
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Wow, just wow. Hope you and all of your mates from the IRC will be good! Peace
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I love this story. Thanks for sharing. It brought back memories from my 17-20s in IRC chatrooms. I still have two great friends from that golden age.
I remember getting into that corner of the internet first to "fool around" and "meet chicks" but I ended learning about real human connection through a computer screen. Also with RL chatroom-wide meetings at bars and parks...
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Yeah, at my wedding there were people from a graphics card forum and from an online RPG.
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Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

great story, thank you for sharing.
In bouncing around to all the different social media options as I unsubscribed from Meta owned apps it has been great to have some real human connection from time to time.
It is possible to be real with people online, it just takes a bit of courage or desperation depending on where people are at.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

My IRC days are now officially 33 years away.
Back then, me and my friends clearly understood that we'd just seen the future. I don't think for the Internet we'd thought this future though.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

My journey on the Internet started 30 years ago. Most of my dearest friends I met on IRC for the first time. My wife about 25 years ago.

Without IRC I would not be, who I am.

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

So wonderful.
I met my wife back in those times.
For most people then it was awkward to meet someone out of the Internet .

It worked out

😀

Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Thank you for telling your story and for being so open an kind - I know the Internet like this from the other side of the rope, being really alone in another city during a practical semester. I found fellows through Usenet (d.s.s.g) and the related IRC channel, and enjoyed their company at small gothic parties in a student hostel basement.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

It's really bad how we're all becoming isolated because of the internet and not learning any social skills.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Similar to my positive online community experiences from late 70s to 90s. Then monetizing enshittificatiion ensued.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Great story, thank you for sharing it with us. Internet used to be a much better place indeed.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

what a lovely story! I wasn't involved in many irc channels, but joined a bunch of early AOL message boards. This was 1993. I was a new mother, no family nearby, spouse who worked 14+ hour days. It was my lifeline.

A few years later, I joined a poetry message board. Ultimately became one of the mods. When you read someone's poetry, that is a window into their whole self. I made a lot of close friends there.

Fast forward to 2004 or so.

(1/?)

Als Antwort auf LJ

My 12 y.o. spawn was visiting his bestie who had moved to Oregon. United allowed 12 year olds to fly as adults. Kiddo hated the fuss of flying as an unaccompanied minor.

Boston to Oregon was no problem

Coming home, he got stranded in Denver by canceled flights.

Airline put adults up in a hotel. Brought in a supervising person to stay with unaccompanied minors in an airport lounge.

My kid was left in limbo, released on his own to sleep in the terminal.

I was a wreck.

2/?

Als Antwort auf LJ

he was bored & annoyed. (Aside - we nicknamed him Viktor Navorsky after the movie The Terminal).

I recalled that one of my poetry friends was a grandmother in Denver. I reached out to her for help. She immediately offered to pick him up, host him overnight & take him back to the airport the next morning.

Remember: I had never met this person IRL. The common wisdom was that anyone on the internet was a predator.

But if that were true, this person had been playing the longest con!

3/?

Als Antwort auf LJ

So between having him sleep in a deserted airport terminal vs at a home with a friend from my internet poetry board, I chose the latter.

Spawn got dinner, got to sleep in a bed, (with bonus dog!), got back to the airport & out on the first flight the next morning.

The grandmother was indeed a grandmother. As kind & gentle as her poetry had indicated.

But ever after, my kids teased me about the bad example I set for them vis a vis internet safety.

/fin

Als Antwort auf LJ

@LJ this is beautiful! And yes, we set bad examples. “I want to meet my friends from the internet” - parents worst nightmare today. We drove through countries to meet our IRC or forum friends.
@LJ
Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag
tomate 🍅
@mvrenselaar Travian! 20 years… OMG
Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag
Matthijs
i still remember fondly friends on travian. People you had never met in real life. One that i met once and then his funeral… still think of him once a while, and its been 15 years..
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

thank you for sharing.
Not too long ago we had a wonderful experience with @picasso who is not with us anymore. Here on Mastodon.
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

I was in college when they started building a public internet and about 5 years later we got AOL, which cost a fortune!!!
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

Thanks a lot for sharing, I remember similar stories from the old Internet, too
Als Antwort auf tomate 🍅

thanks for sharing these wonderful memories.
It to me also shows why I dislike the term IRL, In Real Life, so much when used to describe offline life compared to online ones like IRC; it insinuates that the people and experiences online aren't part of Real Life. While in reality it's still real people with very much real feelings on the other end of those handles.
Als Antwort auf FiXato

@FiXato I am with you. My real live is in parts on the internet. It is online, on a screen.